Internalized Truths- Confessions of the Heart

~~


There are  parts of me that you cannot see

because those parts don’t come free.

Don’t expect for me to give you my all

When visualizing me in your world is extremely small

 

You think you could see through me?

Naaah brotha man…not at all

That thing you see 

Is pseudo transparency

 

You talked to me like I was your girl.

Made me feel so good, I did a couple of twirls

But you laid me out

And you played me dirty

I thought you were the one

But instead I “was just a homie.”

 

So there I was..hurt..feeling lonely

But still there for you

Every time you called me

 

That little inkling of hope faded away

When you told me you never liked me in that way

In the  name of love I felt so  used

But in the power of your control  you said that I’m the one confused


Where do we go from here?, I asked you.

You ignored the question. 

I turned blue.

Seemed like you got me where you wanted me to be.

And the needs of my heart was left like a broken tree.

 

What the heck did I eventually do?

Well I sucked it all up and became your fool.

Day in and day out

I listened to you

While you were still fake loving me in that unhealed wound.

 

Why did I let you do this to me?

Is what I asked myself.

Well I thought you loved me

But you “just needed a little help.”

At the end of the day everything was so wrong

I learned to move on and now I’m strong

 

Sometimes I find myself singing that love song

But I snap out  if it

And remind myself that you were the dog.

 

At the end of this cycle

There was one lesson learned.

That feeling I had for you had to get burned.

 

Years of friendship  was built on a dream to pursue something more

But when you decided that friendship is where it will stay..

That friend…shipped out the door

– Kristal C. (c)

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